Getting all poetic

The climb. Slow, controlled, one eye on the road, the other on my heart rate. Music playing from my MP3 - I don't remember the track, that's not important. I'm on the way to Basingstoke to visit my Mum, where I'll drink tea and eat cake before turning round and riding home.

Grey clouds, trees lining the road. Up, flatten slightly, then more up. The Hampshire Downs, just South of Kingsclere, are ahead but at this present moment it's just tarmac and litter by the roadside.

I get close to the top, and see cars parked in the layby - dogs and dog walkers.

I crest the hill.

I accelerate...

The sun breaks through the clouds and I glance to my right to see four Red Kites, whirling on a thermal. I look ahead as my speed rises. The snow has gone now and the fields are trying to be green, trying to lure spring out of hiding. Rolling hills, patches of woodland, hedgerows and farms are washed with the tentative warmth of a January sun.

A new song comes on the MP3 - Rush Hour. 40, 50, 60 kph comes up on the GPS. This is the longest, the fastest, the best descent of the whole route, and I have a view to die for and a random song that I couldn't have bettered. I'm grinning like a fool as I carve through the corners, tucked down to minimise the wind and maximise the rush. Mentally I capture this moment, looking around, feeling thankful that bikes can throw up special moments like this.

Brilliant.

Got a feckin' puncture on the way home though.

Sports "massage"

I've been having a bit of trouble with my calfs/calves recently. No, not the small cow kind. The lower leg kind. The past couple of times I've been for a run (and you may argue that's where I'm going wrong) they've gradually tightened up to the stop-or-this-is-really-gonna-hurt point. Using my extensive medical knowledge I self diagnosed "tight calfs/calves" and decided they needed some treatment.

I have a friend who's an osteopath. She's treated me a couple of times in the past, for such varied conditions as "feeling sick after eating", "funny weird knee pains" and "it hurts when I do this". So, she was the obvious choice (and it just happened to coincide with Pie needing real treatment for a proper injury).

After she'd manipulated Pie for a while and declared her broken beyond repair (at least until things calmed down) it was my turn. It started with The Thumper, which is a mains powered vibrator for Daleks. This causes light to moderate pain throughout the body, rattling the skeleton and tearing the hairs from any skin it comes into contact with. Daleks don't have hair. Oh, on me it causes extreme giggling mixed in with the pain.

Then came the warming rub. I liked this bit. It reminded me of Minty Arse Lard, which is always a good thing.

False.
Sense.
Of.
Security.

Then came The Thumbs. In the language of the average teenager, OMG, WTF! You need to MTFU! The Thumbs cause major to extensive pain localised to specific areas. I felt that my bones were being crushed, my muscles being torn from their mountings (medical term), my nerves rolled gently by a steamroller. I screamed, I moaned, I cried for mercy, but The Thumbs continued. I pleaded for respite but to no avail. I've never been waterboarded, but if the average CIA torturer wanted to get information from me he wouldn't need a bucket and a board (I'm assuming that both these things are needed for waterboarding. I could be wrong. It may be custard and a copy of Singletrack magazine). It was that painful.

Do you remember that song based on the article about advice for graduates? Sunscreen. There is one word in that song that would have prevented all this.

Stretch.

Believe the song.

OK, I admit it, my previous snow rides were a bit wussy

Just because there is an inch of white on the ground it doesn't really make it a snow ride. It's not that different to riding on hard packed ground, or frozen mud. Just a little colder, a little prettier.

 

Yesterday was my first real snow ride. Yesterday we trudged. We pushed. We slipped, washed out, carved fresh lines through six inches of powder and re-broke the frozen crust where walkers had been previously. We stopped frequently to readjust layers, change tyre pressures, take photos. There was frustration, humour, determination, and above all, there was lots and lots of snow.

I learnt a few things

• Fresh snow is easier to ride on than trampled snow.
• Trees fall (or bend) down a lot in the snow, and block the trail.
• No, you're never going to make it up that hill in these conditions on a singlespeed.
• Road is more dangerous than off road. I fell twice on the way to the start of the ride.
• Hot dogs taste great after three and a half hours of cold.

Thing is though, I'm kind of bored of the snow and ice now. Can I have some tarmac back so I can do some reasonable training on the road. Pretty please?

2009 Review of the Year

Done totally without the safety net of reading my older posts, my highlights (I don't do lowlights) were:

• Getting into the best shape ever, mainly due to all the rides round the Cotswolds with Jon. When it came to the event we were training for (The Dragon Ride), all the climbs seemed a bit... flat. Long, but flat.
• Jem's cakes from all the trips to the Cotswolds. I can remember the flapjack, the tiffin cake and peanut butter cookies. All brilliant, and the thought of them kept me going more than once.
• Buying the Orca. Even now, when I'm in the garage on the turbo trainer, I keep catching myself staring at it. It rides pretty well too.
• The Dragon Ride itself. The second Bwlch climb, the sweeping descents, the line of 50 or so riders with Jon at the front (and me second) and then the final 5km. The pace started to creep up, with a last all out sprint to the line with two other riders before skidding to a halt. Cue huge silly grin.
• Finishing my first 12 hour solo. Huge thanks to Darren who was there "to make sure you don't quit". Well, it worked. I think I was on the course for about eleven and a half hours.
• The second half of the Wessex 100, when we upped the pace and lost all but 5 riders. Phill at the front for at least 50 of the 100 miles. The chat with the final 5 as we waited at the lights before the killer last mile, and knowing that Jon was going to leave everyone behind up the hill. I managed second. Sitting around afterwards with coffee and cake watching the rest of the field come in.
• Almost forgot - the after work 100 miler, in the dark. That was very silly.

Lots more road than off-road there - probably because it was my first year doing road events. 2010 might be a bit more balanced - I've got some interesting off-road plans forming.

It's on - Lands End to John O'Groats

Or, LEJOG for short.

We've finally agreed the dates - 6th May til 16th May. 8 Days riding. 950ish miles (depending on the route). Four confirmed riders (myself, Darren, Phill, Jon), three support crew (Tim, Lynne, Becky).

I have some slightly strange feelings about it.

• It doesn't seem that difficult. Only 120 miles a day for eight days. How hard can it be?
• It doesn't seem that impressive. Loads of people do it.
• I'm not that inspired, yet. I'm sure that'll come. I was more inspired by the thought of the Dragon Ride last year, and that was only one lot of 119 miles.

I think what's happened is that a bit of complacency has set in. It's just like doing the Dragon Ride eight days in a row.

Oh.
My.
God.

From what I've read, recovery is the key. That's OK, because I'm rubbish at sleeping, especially after a big bike ride. Lets look at what the pros do:

• Get off bike, get recovery drink shoved into them. I can do this, I can drink recovery drink
• Get driven to their hotel. Ah, we'll be camping.
• Massage. Anyone want to come along to massage me? (Note, must be female)
• Team doctors, who have been known to help with "special" treatments. Um, I'll pack some ibuprofen
• Recovery tights. That's OK, it involves buying stuff. I've already got a pair of these
• A nutritionally balanced diet. We'll have pasta, Torq bars and beer.

So, pretty close then. We'll probably end up doing it quicker I reckon.

One final question - is this worth getting sponsored for? You see, I'm doing it anyway, for fun. In my view something sponsored should not be fun. Opinions?

Biking in a winter wonderland!

We don't get much snow round here, so you have to take your opportunities when you can. -3C, frozen ground, clear blue skies. Pretty much perfect.

Random Perfectness

Sometimes, a fairly random series of events combine to provide the perfect evening. Firstly, getting in from work I managed to drag myself out for a solo night ride. We've had the first couple of proper winter days - cold, dry and crisp, and I took out the Scandal for the first time in ages.

Now, I've mainly been riding the singlespeed 853 Inbred recently, for my off road action. 130mm forks, slightly chunky - it's my "big bike" (though for most it would be a small bike). Anyway, leaping on the Scandal (100mm forks, super light, race geometry) after this was a little, um, frightening. Skittish, snappy, aggressive - perfect for racing, not so good for bimbling around muddy/icy woods, in the dark, by yourself. Still, I survived a couple of hours without falling off and got home chilly but unscathed.

As you can see, I also wore my "Skellington" jacket to keep the creatures of the night away.

Next - food. After a quick recovery snack of toasted malf loaf I started on my "Elaine won't eat this so I cook it when she's out" kedgeree. I'd even remembered to buy all the various ingredients I've tried in it in the past - green pepper, mushrooms, lemon, chilli, corriander. It's a recipe that's evolved, and the one tonight was pretty much perfect.

Now, a perfect meal needs a perfect drink... I give you Hook Norton 12 Days... as dark as a night time bike ride.

Does it get any better than this?

Cause and Effect

Cause: Very wet and muddy singlespeed ride resulting in filthy legs and bike.

Effect: Warm Normandy Apple Tart (from the Farmers' Market) and Chocolate Ice Cream

Nom, and indeed nom.

Tough these winter rides

Cafe stop in Tetbury.

Week One

It's Friday, coming to the end of training week one. It's been mixed.

Monday
Plan - Gym session, strength training
Actual - Went to London for meeting, drank beer afterwards

Tuesday
Plan - 1:30 Zone 2
Actual - 1:00 Zone 2, on the Turbo, watching BBC Breakfast. Joe Bonamassa gig, Subway footlong for tea.

Wednesday
Plan - 1oK run
Actual - 11K run. Ow. Hurty. Was stumbling around the house afterwards, and had to wear my Skins recovery leg things.

Thursday
Plan - 1:30 Zone 2
Actual - 1:00 Zone 2 on the Turbo, cider and black, snakebite and black, Corona x 3, Bud x 1, tequila x 1. Work Christmas party that was.

Friday
Plan - Gym strength session, 1:30 singlespeed ride
Actual - Hangover, coffee, diet coke, spicy sausage pasta, 1:15 very muddy singlespeed ride/trudge.

I think that the actuals are more fun than the plan.

I need a better plan.